Monday, December 29, 2008

I declare

I want to be famous.

Since I said it is that enough for it to come true?

I want my name in lights and that when I talk people listen.

I want people to seek me out because my perspective is highly valued.

I'm sure that I can captivate you with my thoughts, I just have to take the time to write them down. Sometimes I get so involved in nothing that time passes without me being able to recall a single thought.

Maybe I have a point to this.

For a long as I can recall I have felt a certain kind of way about pretty much everything. Hot or cold, black and white, right and wrong. I see life through a very objective lens and very often do not have the capacity to forgive foolishness as it arises. Maybe then I should

Women - I can't say that I love the majority of you. There is too much self hate that exists in this world for me to give you a better sense of self than you are able to offer yourself. I am not an esteem coach and will never sign off on the types of things that characeterise the many of you who are out here exploting yourself. It's a fine line between celebrating your body and and turning tricks. You want to get picked up in the club because you enjoy the chase. You want to get banged out because you enjoy how it feels. Some of you are heartless and it shows through. You have questionable character because you despise those who are truthful while throwing yourself at others who barely know your name. It is unfortunate that you can not see that this will only lead to your demise and a part of me hopes for that for you. Maybe I can get a peace of mind by knowing you are suffering because you decided that I was not worthy of you. How can this be, when the facts exists that suggest that I helped raise you, taught you more about yourself and making it than your mama and daddy. Do you not forget that I was there coaching you up when you could barely boil water. You believe that we are looking for push overs but fail to recall the constant push I gave you to think critcally, act decisively. You were a slow head known for being a bust down but I saw beyond that and wanted to help you be better. I thought that you felt the same way about me, but you did not care really at all. I take responsibilty for the times that I lost my temper or control of myself and for the mistakes that I made as a result. But you don't do the same. You make it as if it is all my fault. Maybe that is how you can justify your feelings today, maybe you wasted my time in the past because you nbeer really cared the way that you said you did and now when you look back searching for answers you realize that fact but instead of taking responsibility for lying you place the blame soley on me, now it hurts. I can be better and I will but I don't know if you can do better than me. You don't deserve it because you are a liar and not very bright.

Sunday, December 14, 2008


I am running 100 mph inside but stationary.

I need to get up.

My mind is all over, still I try to show up

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Sometimes it pays to look back

Playing football taught me so much. I was exposed to some great thinkers who spent a lot of time with their heads buried in books searching for insight on life. Gerry D. was the best at motivating his players with relating it back to his reading. Books like Good to Great by Jim Collins and the works of John Wooden dominated his time and ultimately the discussions he led during team meetings. I learned things like "tough times don't last... tough people do" or " I won't treat everyone the same, but I will treat you all fairly" simple concepts that are reapplicable in all forms of life. It is no wonder that people often jump at the opportunity to work with and hire former athletes, these students are often equipped with a general understanding of how the world works, and while not necessarily possessing the job specific skills day 1, is more than capable to

I'm sleepy now

Sometimes it pays to look back

Playing football taught me so much. I was exposed to some great thinkers who spent a lot of time with their heads buried in books searching for insight on life. Gerry D. was the best at

Friday, December 05, 2008


Got money... I found it
Figured it would change my life.
So instead of being fulfilled, why am I lonely?
Money alone can't hold me.
It didn't take long to make sense.
What's it take to get you back.
Us back in line.
Have you lived your life?