Monday, December 29, 2008

Maybe I have a point to this.

For a long as I can recall I have felt a certain kind of way about pretty much everything. Hot or cold, black and white, right and wrong. I see life through a very objective lens and very often do not have the capacity to forgive foolishness as it arises. Maybe then I should

Women - I can't say that I love the majority of you. There is too much self hate that exists in this world for me to give you a better sense of self than you are able to offer yourself. I am not an esteem coach and will never sign off on the types of things that characeterise the many of you who are out here exploting yourself. It's a fine line between celebrating your body and and turning tricks. You want to get picked up in the club because you enjoy the chase. You want to get banged out because you enjoy how it feels. Some of you are heartless and it shows through. You have questionable character because you despise those who are truthful while throwing yourself at others who barely know your name. It is unfortunate that you can not see that this will only lead to your demise and a part of me hopes for that for you. Maybe I can get a peace of mind by knowing you are suffering because you decided that I was not worthy of you. How can this be, when the facts exists that suggest that I helped raise you, taught you more about yourself and making it than your mama and daddy. Do you not forget that I was there coaching you up when you could barely boil water. You believe that we are looking for push overs but fail to recall the constant push I gave you to think critcally, act decisively. You were a slow head known for being a bust down but I saw beyond that and wanted to help you be better. I thought that you felt the same way about me, but you did not care really at all. I take responsibilty for the times that I lost my temper or control of myself and for the mistakes that I made as a result. But you don't do the same. You make it as if it is all my fault. Maybe that is how you can justify your feelings today, maybe you wasted my time in the past because you nbeer really cared the way that you said you did and now when you look back searching for answers you realize that fact but instead of taking responsibility for lying you place the blame soley on me, now it hurts. I can be better and I will but I don't know if you can do better than me. You don't deserve it because you are a liar and not very bright.


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