Hmm

I fell in love in the winter, down a slippery slope.
It was upon one sighting, your smile gave me hope.
That one moment in time became the genesis of a new me.
I learned more about myself from you than over 20 years of doing me.
You were a God send, taught me faith, love, passion, and tact.
A wide array of characteristics important to my maturation.

Time went on and my courage increased.
I wanted, needed you more than my fear of failing could slow down.
Decided I would chase you around the world as long as there was hope of you turning around.
Would never want you lonely, unfulfilled, or disheartened.. so I stepped my game up.
Worked harder by the day because I wanted to be the man you deserved.
Loved you intently, intentionally, intimately without reserve.
I put my heart in it because it was worth the risk.
We had many good times, I tasted bliss.
It was warm, like the feeling in my toes when you were in my arms.
An electric current that would raise every hair on my body when you were around.
I became addicted, feining for your company.

Now I'm empty, incapable f a complete thought, frustrated.
I was left standing in the cold, jaded.
Didn't think it would end this way, but it often does.
Just hope that your good and now are closer finding the one.
Even though I thought it was me, I can't ask you to feel the same.
It would be worse if you were in it, but not in it the same.
I'd rather you feel like I do.
I'd rather be with you and you want nothing more than that to.
I'd rather be saying this in your ear.
I'd rather be with you next year and the one following the next in perpituity.
I'd rather you show up late than not at all.
I'd be willing to hold my breath and hope.

i lie a wake at night sometimes thinking why am I struggling.
I can't perform in relationships in the long run, my life will