Friday, June 29, 2007

Dear God-

I wonder could you save me? I can't go out like this. It's Friday night and I'm home alone, still hoping and praying for fulfilment. I'm lost without you. I said I was depressed out loud today. I didn't want to mean it, but I did. I'm sad, confused, and frustrated with myself. I feel like crying, maybe even giving up. I walked into a fog, my life is shadowed by an overcast that follows me day to day. I wake up from sleepless nights in a hurry to get up the highway to sit in a sea of nothingness. My daily activities do not invoke near enough the sense of accomplishment that I crave. I want to be loved by many and respected by all, to be impactful, a way maker. But I can't seem to find my niche. It can't be in what I am doing now. I find myself over taken by boredom and sometimes anger at the thought of what I am subjected to on a day to day basis. I'm not hear to say that I am better than others, but you made us differently for a reason and I ain't like most of these people. What is the good life to them is not enough for me. I believe that I can change this world... or at least those that I come into contact with. But in what way will this be done? I know things will never sustain me, but I continue to grow frustrated with my financial situation. I fear the prospect of living check to check. Please show me the way out. Rid my heart of coveting things in life that will add no value. Restore my ambition and focus. Show me the way.


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