Monday, April 16, 2007

Pursuit of Happiness

Hoping to better understand myself...
Wishing I knew how to navigate down this road...
How do I get to the best situation? Why do I feel the need to be needed, but despise it soon there after? Trying to get the point, can I be sure about anything? Have I let things go on for too long? I fear not holding on for long enough, it keeps me insecure. I think back on what we did together and I smile, I consider what could be in times to come and I'm left in limbo. We could be fun together, but it could be better, for you and me. Do we understand each other enough? Am I drawn to a physical place inside you instead of where I should be inside you? I mean shouldn't I feel like I'm in your mind, understand what makes you tick? I shouldn't be so taken aback by your comments that I grow to loathe talking to you. I shouldn't think about life without you when I'm with you. I should be comfortable turning it off because you captivate me. It's not there right now. I must consider the reality and act accordingly considering the alternative will keep you and I from success in this pursuit of happiness.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is hard for me to read. I never dreamed of making someone so unhappy and confused. I also never imagined that the person I loved would come to despise me. Life is so short and to find love and happiness is a wonderful gift. I'm not as selfish as some think, I can give you my gift of happiness. If a relationship with me is draining, walk away with no strings attached. You are free, without children, without a marriage commitment..just a free young man.
I heard these words before but reading them feels so different. I am suprised by my reaction. I'm not angry, just sad that I contributed to such emotions, never thought that would be my role.

8:16 PM  

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