Tuesday, April 07, 2009


I'm tired of being alone when I'm not supposed to be. I wonder if it is better to simply be alone than to say you are not alone. That's how this keeps playing out for me. I am not out here playing percentages. I do not see a better fit. Maybe I would be more focused with less time spent on one thing. I could potentially do anything with that time. How should one decide on what decision to spend time decision making upon. This whole thing gets frustrating and confusing all at once, some times. I thought I could do better, but maybe I am simply just losing my mind. All of a sudden I feel fear. I smell anxiety. I taste failure. Isn't it strange that I am able to give these emotions personalities of their own? How did I turn feelings into nouns. Is that even possible? Time will only tell where I net because it is becoming more clear that I lack direction and am likely headed to nowhere at all. My life instead destined to be one huge lap, jogging the curves and sprinting the straights seems to be a perfect analogy. See I often times find myself laboring through the curves in life, it takes awhile to get through the obscurities that life throws at me. Conversely, I sprint through the straights. Tracking quickly through the more smooth aspects of life, not taking time to enjoy myself. It's so telling.


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