Hey Hey

It's been a few days and I'm holding strong. I tried not looking at you but once I did it became difficult to hold on. My stomach dropped. For a long time I thought you were the one. Spiritually fulfilling, physically clearly the best, emotionally/intellectually... not so much. Which of the listed means the most? I question myself every minute of the days that past wondering if I screwed up.

It's not that I chose a career or hobby or school or anything else over you. I decided that "I'm not sure" meant no and that you didn't deserve anything but an enthusiastic "please be with me". Anything else was unacceptable, and in the current state I was unable to step up. I failed... or I didn't. I love you. Bye.