Saturday, January 28, 2006

When Times Get Rough

Every now and then, my house crashes to the ground. I spent years rebuilding it, brick by heavy brick, being especially meticulous of the way I laid each down… These years I’ve spent tip toeing so securely around the construction site of my life.

With time, you start to believe that you are stronger and practically invincible; a living, breathing antithesis of sensitivity. Sure, you’ve fallen victim to infatuation a few times… And you promise yourself never to do it again and so you don’t. And you become very protective of your feelings and you really start to believe that you can keep the mold of affection from growing subject to the constraints of your better judgment... You live in a state of paranoia; no one can be trusted. But, if it truly takes two to tangle. How can we find happiness in this world?

But every now and then something contends to remind me of how far I haven’t come …

And now, the very threat of returning to the ruins sends me tumbling through a whirlwind of confusion suddenly finding every wall that I’ve worked so hard to build, swaying in the wind. I realize my vulnerability…


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